SUMMING-UP

Susan Smith Nash

 

My lips were like metal

and melted wax

familiar tastes of obligation

you know how it is –

 

I’m afraid to tell you

ravishing trace of stars streaming from the sky

warm July of self-abnegation

my hand searching for yours;

still, I’m afraid to tell you.

 

In the summing-up we all avoid,

don’t ask me what my life meant;

 

I’m under the car, face-up

defined by metal and the malleable

chromatography of bone and sheen –

love me if you dare

 

after a lifetime of being set up to fail,

you never do –

silence when you pull off the impossible –

words dance around it,

around what has always been

what always will be –

 

flecks of blood like stars inverted

wax melting on metal lips

bitter, bitter then sweet so sweet

love me if you dare,

but only –

 

-- October 27, 2001