I won’t tell you why
Brown wrappers slapped prancing over sticky who-done-its
I’m whatever you want me to be – morning trotterish vox-monster
I’m going to tell you “gonna” coz I’m like a language-lounger learning
All the zooms and whirls for the first time (you fascinate me like that)
And, yes, you may sit down and smile if you wish
We’re saddened by being so close and yet so far far far away
Rain pelts, water swishishly close, memory digs its knife in deep
Tears don’t know they aren’t supposed to wear their anti-gravity boots
Clog up my eyes and refuse to flow down my cheeks
I’m just so sad
It’s remembering that makes me cry
And yet I’ll never be able to tell you or those dratted neighbors
I just can’t let it go; even though the longing makes me swizzly with pain
Even though this is nature, after all, and people do have to grow up some day
I see why dependency is so desirable
Just not letting go
Ever
Ever
Ever
Here we are, so sottishly emotional again – sand squeezes me
Beyond even what I sense I’m terribly fraught
With whatever you have for me – and I regret
The pain is harsh like that
Attachment is probably what it is; I need to understand my own mind
Harpooning the object I crave for making me whole
Even though everyone knows
If you harpoon a guy, he will probably bleed
Not appreciate it one little whit
Oh yeah
Yaha yeah aha yah yeah
Causalities’ slipperies – oh so sweet (on paper)
Coz we’re in and on the same existential plane called shame or something like it
This is life I guess.
Too bad it is so grizzly-rough and clawzer’d
Scratch it too many times & it gets infected.
Norman, Oklahoma
September 6, 2003